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KutePenguin
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Name: Vivian
Gender: Female
Interests: Music, Poetry, Dance, Leadership, money, car, house, FOOD!
Expertise: Yes I did that, thank you!
Industry: Architectural, Medical, buisin
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
6/3/2002
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| Distortion and Imagination?
I ain't one who get's "done"
I let it be, alright?
So, fuck outta here for a minute!
It's time ta roll....
AND
when it happens, it ain't gonna be weak sauce baby!
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| What does it mean to be honest with myself?
How do I get over myself?
What should I do now?
What's lost is FOREVER LOST
There are so much stuff in front of me
Waiting
I do have: family, friends, youth, some education and working experience, ****, expression/life in me
I have about $40
I have a man heartbroken because we both have too strong of a stance.
I am giving, friendly, playful
I am heart-broken as well-
or maybe... just sore
SO IT'S TIME TO EXPRESS 
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Everytime my lover tells/lets/makes me feel dirty, unimportant, unwanted;
And Everytime my lover lets me leave in misery
And looks for me as if nothing happened, forcing on me about him being right and I deserved it and FUCKING did it to myself;
I get angry, frustrated, feel dead-framed;
And I don't know how to cry, I just can't, I don't, and it's not worth it.
I dont even have to try hard to hold it in- I just deal
I gave it all, I showed it all
Because
I'm sincere and my lover asked for it
But
It can just bounce right back at me.
I tell myself: "I don't care. I don't care because I'm strong and I want the good for myself."
I think and act strong!
Only to realize, that my heart is sore again.
When I know this, I look at myself, and my eyes water.
God, I'm cold, scared, and possibly alone- but just for now.
So when it's raining hard and I find the temporary place to sit,
A bakery, a few bakeries if necesary
I buy less than a dollar cup of hot drink
And I scribble all the negative stuff on the business card.
No one but me can read it.
Then I am ready to state my words again, in the form of art, poetry, or journal,
Such as one I am posting/developing now,
And I am proud to be me
I tear Not because I thought I saw myself mature enough to deal with this,
But because though I am always changing,
I still have going through this
No matter how hard I work and try,
no matter how much built and accomplished
My heart is still gets sore...
my only relief I can get is at this point is:
I AM ONLY HUMAN
Thank you for giving me the courage and power to build and experience...
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| Johnny Gunther- son of American Author John Gunther
Almighty God!
Forgive me for my agnosticism
For I shall keep it gentle,
not cynical,
nor a bad influence.
And O!
If thou art truly in heavens
a ccept my gratitude for all they gifts
And I shall fight
The Good Fight
AMEN
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| Did it happen? Did it? I swear.
Poetry --> written form of some dimensional experience
www.xanga.com/kutepenguin
My lord, I am scared, cold, and possibly alone
Art --> hopeful record of an incident--->
--->complicated but symbolical representation of some sort of history
The feeling of the soft and velvet
I think i remembered this... kiss
Dance--> moving spirit and emotion
---> expressive movements meaning....
Forever --> ever and never
Music ---> beat, rhythmn, melodies
Symbol ---> significant language
---> representation of history
History ---> lies
--->nothing but another form/format of the truth
---> too complicated to be accepted as true story
True story ---> too perfect to be a real story
---> really affected by love, hate, jealousy, vengeance, purity and evil, and morality, hard work
Puke..........
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| One second it was a okay and proud to be... next second...
how sad it is, that the puppy doesn't know shit...
picturing and remembering how fresh my senses were when I was a kid
I can understand the 6th sense of a happy puppy
Then I lost the sense of joy, frustration and anger overtaking pain, and....
upsetting and aching with fear....
the sinner has sinned again:
then being thrown harshly by the master, it whip it's distorted body back into a comfortable position,
then quickly enough, watching the master come back to give the love deserved..
then grab by the small body and WHOOSH.. feeling is as if squeezing through pressured air....
and quick intense BUPB!..
body squirm and wound twitches...
the uncontrolled stregth of the hits were all just as surprising
painful or not
Can the paws move right now?
Would the eyes be scared enough to open itself or brave enough to look?
Then cries as the mind goes: "mommy"
Acts done to and from who is not suppose to be
Aching aching
non-stop aching aching...
Evil
so evil.. so evil
FROM thinking: "How can it exist?"
TO: "Evil exist in me?"
How can evil exist in me?
Life of distortion
self rapture- raped and done!
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